most popular search on Google – but what's the answer? The answer remains elusive in part because love is not one thing. Love is more easily experienced than defined. Depending on the context, love can be of different varieties. When we ask a question like “What is love?” we assume that we’re trying to define an abstract concept similar to “What is freedom?” or “What is good fortune?” But truthfully, love is not a concept. It’s an action.
“The agonies of love are many and varied. Each person has their own character and personality; they have different backgrounds and circumstances. So there is no set rule that applies equally to everyone . Love should be a force that helps you expand your life and bring forth your innate potential with fresh and dynamic vitality. That is the ideal but, as the saying "Love is blind" illustrates, people often lose all objectivity when they fall in love.
If you are neglecting the things you should be doing, forgetting your purpose in life because of the relationship you're in, then you're on the wrong path. A healthy relationship is one in which two people encourage each other to reach their respective goals while sharing each other's hopes and dreams. A relationship should be a source of inspiration, invigoration and hope.
Love is a complex matter that is a reflection of each person's attitude and philosophy toward life. The bottom line is that, without respect, no relationship will last for very long, nor will two people be able to bring out the best in each other.
Rather than becoming so love-struck that you create a world where only the two of you exist, it is much healthier to learn from those aspects of your partner that you respect and admire, and continue to make efforts to improve and develop yourself. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, the author of The Little Prince, once wrote, "Love is not two people gazing at each other, but two people looking ahead together in the same direction." It follows then that relationships last longer when both partners share similar values and beliefs.
With some people, however, once they have gotten into a relationship, they have a hard time saying "no" to the other person for fear of losing them. In that respect, love is like riding in a car with no brakes. Sometimes, even if you want to get out, you can't; even if you regret having gotten in, the car won't stop. In many cases, people get involved in a relationship thinking they are free and independent, but at some point find they have become captive to the relationship.
The truth is, ideal love is fostered only between two sincere, mature and independent people. It is essential, therefore, that you work on polishing yourself first.
It is demeaning to be constantly seeking your partner's approval. Such a relationship is bereft of real caring, depth or even love. If you find yourself in a relationship where you are not treated the way your heart tells you you should be, I hope you will have the courage and dignity to decide that you are better off risking being scorned by your partner than enduring an unhappy relationship.
Real love is not two people clinging to each other; it can only be fostered between two strong people secure in their individuality. A shallow person will only have shallow relationships. If you want to experience real love, it is important to first sincerely develop a strong self-identity. True love is not about doing whatever the other person wants you to do or pretending you are something you're not. If someone genuinely loves you, they will not force you to do anything against your will nor embroil you in some dangerous activity.”( excerpt- Daisaku Ikeda-Excerpted from Discussions on Youth)
“Everybody has his own way of being in love. Never compare it. Somebody may be dancing, may be ecstatic and singing, and somebody else may be sitting silently with closed eyes. Both are mad in their own ways.
It depends. There are as many loves as there are people. Love is a hierarchy, from the lowest rung to the highest, from sex to superconsciousness. There are many many layers, many planes of love. It all depends on you. If you are existing on the lowest rung, you will have a totally different idea of love than the person who is existing on the highest rung. Adolf Hitler will have one idea of love, Gautam Buddha another; and they will be diametrically opposite, because they are at two extremes. All relationships are just rules of the game, and many times you will have to act and wear masks, false faces. The only thing to remember is: don’t become the mask. Use it if it is good, and keep the rules, but don’t become the mask, don’t get identified. Act it, don’t get identified with it.To be true creates real problems. To be authentic creates real problems. And say whatsoever is the case never demur, never look sideways. Look straight and be true.
The one thing to remember is: life is a great complexity. You are not alone here, there are many others related to you. Be sincere unto yourself, never be false there. Know well what you want, and for yourself remain that. But there are others also; don’t unnecessarily hurt them. And if you need to wear masks, wear them and enjoy them, but remember, they are not your original face, and be capable of taking them off any moment. Remain the master, don’t become the slave; otherwise you can be violent through your sincerity, unnecessarily you can be violent.
If you really love the woman, in the morning you will tell her your dream – that you made love to a woman in the night in your dream. Everything has to be shared. The whole heart has to be shared. Intimacy means that there is no privacy. You don’t carry anything private now – at least with the person you are intimate with. You drop privacy. You are nude and naked. Good, bad, whatsoever you are, you open your heart. And whatsoever the cost you pay for it; whatsoever the trouble you go through with it. That brings growth.”(excerpt-Osho)